Yandex sucker, you're almost in the top... bam and your article is not in the search at all! Or is Google still a sucker, with its zoo, pandas and penguins and other living creatures, analysis of search engines here.

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It just so happens that Google and Yandex are the leaders of the Runet.
They are the ones who provide the largest traffic from search, these are the 2 search engines that are the best in the CIS countries... but are they really the best? Which one is good and which one is bad?
Yandex is a sucker? Or is Google a sucker? Or maybe they are both really bad, they don’t see normal sites and blogs!
Do the robots of these search engines follow bold links like zombies?
Ever wondered why sites that buy direct advertising are higher in search results?
If you try direct advertising and then give it up, do you know what will happen?)
All your requests will go the hell away from where they came from!
Maybe Yasha thinks everyone is warm?
Try to get to the top of the search in Gosha without links, did you try it, was it successful?)
You don’t understand... I’m not talking about low-frequency drivers, but at least about mid-frequency drivers, you can, of course, move up high in the midrange, but in how long... in half a year, a year?
Links are no longer being rolled out?
So why are there old trust sites with bold links to them in the 10th?
Why do you know this, can you guess?))
Right! Because he takes everyone for a ride!
Let's look at why the Russian search engine has bad taste.

Yandex is a sucker, and your page is no longer even in the top 100

Have you ever had your page published at 10 o’clock, hurray!
Next update... bam! And she is no longer there! No, this page is way past 10.
You start to blow your mind... maybe you spammed the keys? Or maybe something with relevance or poured in a lot of water?
I go, look, check... everything is fine.
Hmm... Ooh! The reason is behavioral... I'll go and look at the metrics. Yes, everything seems fine.
Well, God bless her with this article!
A couple of updates pass and what do I see?
My God! She, she's at the top of the search again!
...So think about it, who is lukewarm after this, or is Yandex not catching up?

And it happens like this.
You check the positions in the search, 5th place, not bad, right?
I do not believe! I'll go check it myself!
I go to the search, enter the query, where? Where is she?!
There is no page even at 10, on the 3rd page I find it.
Do you think this is normal? Or does he take everyone for suckers and have been playing tricks on everyone?)

What will happen if other sites link to the page of our site, or at least one bold trust site?
What do you think?
The Runet search engine stated that the links hardly work?
No! He’s definitely either not catching up himself, or he’s taking you and me for donkeys!
The links work, they work!

Now let’s imagine that your request ended up in the top 3, no matter how, with the help of social media. networks, links, announcement in subscript or something else...
In fact, he just got there.
Do you know what will happen if it is a competitive request?
Your page will be destroyed by your competitors!
And you won’t see her in the top 10 again!
How?
You know, I had this happen, the page loads like C, in an hour, two hits, 2 refusals.
They came in for about 5 seconds and closed.
What about your division?!
I’ve had people on VKontakte switch to it and not a single person has been rejected; people spend 30 minutes to 1 hour reading it!
I don’t count those who simply had this page open for 5-6 hours, but there were some.
The VKontakte audience doesn’t like to read anything at all!
This page was simply leaked.
Yandex deeply sneezed at your uniqueness! (I mean the uniqueness that is not shown by plagiarism).
So think about who is a sheep and who is not.
It’s not like his robots are stupid, but he doesn’t understand such simple things.

I’m going to write an article, I wrote it, I check the relevance, everything is ok 100%.
And then the thought creeps in: shouldn’t I look at the best articles for this request?
I look... wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, what do you think, how is the relevance of the top 1?)
1%, to be honest, I was crazy about this situation...
In my opinion, Yasha takes everyone for suckers, all the rules are to him, like TV is to an Indian.

How do you like indexing a new article in a week?
While he indexes it, it will be stolen from you 10 times!

Now let's figure out why Google is a sucker.

Gul is a sucker and his zoo has rabies

I’m writing an article, everything is great!
Bam on the button! I'm publishing it.
Top 50, okay, who's in the top?
I'll go check this article... but it's spammed with keys!
Either I’m not catching up, or Google is stupid and doesn’t see the big puddle with keys.

How do you like rewritten articles that are correctly reworked and bypass the original sources in the search?
This is fine?
After this, who is normal?
What do you think?

What do you think of the Goshin Zoo, led by a penguin and a panda?
It’s interesting that there are 2 sites with the same indicators, well, there’s a trust, etc.
They decided to promote themselves with links, they began to aggressively purchase links, a month later both sites were in the top for many keywords, another month later... one under a panda, the other enjoying the view from above!
This is fine?
You have to be a complete sucker to put one in the top and put another down for the top 30-50.

What do you think of Google's sandbox filter?
Although I believe that she is not there, well, he is not there, what is there?
There is a trust, it determines where to place your pages in searches.
Again, I think so, but according to the majority, this filter still exists.
Let's assume there is one.
So I’m writing an awesome article!
She would have a place in the top ten, but in his opinion I haven’t reached the top yet.
He puts me in 30th place.
The owner of a crazy trust site finds my article, rewrites this article, top 3.
It turns out he's cool, I'm not?! And my place at the top is already taken.
So what do you say, googol loser or am I sick?)

That's all.
What do you think, which search engine is better, Yandex or Google?
In the next article, we’ll figure out what the “+” and “-” of these search engines are, and where it’s easier to advance.

Hello, dear readers of the blog site. I want to say a few words about how optimizers joke. To exaggerate greatly, it was based on some request with certain selfish interests. Usually this is done in order to raise your website or a client’s website to the Top (the first ten answers of Yandex or Google). Everything here is clear and prosaic (loot rules the world). But life would be boring if we stopped doing stupid things...

Well, you must agree, what’s the point of creating a search bomb “Yandex you’re a honey” with promotion to the Top of the site with the answer “I’m not your honey, s----a t----ya.” After all, it’s rude (possibly labor-intensive), but most of the audience for whom this joke is intended (school kids) will be very amused. Oh, look, Yandex can swear. Cool...

But it doesn't matter whether the joke is funny or not. Another thing is important - this clearly demonstrates that manipulating the search results is not so difficult, however, if the request is not very competitive. Those. need to come up with some provoking request and promote a funny answer to the Top on him. As soon as this becomes the property of a bored schoolboy, the request will instantly gain popularity and everyone will advise each other to enter something like “Yandex (Google) you honey (deer)” into the search bar and laugh at one of the first answers in the search results.

You know what? And this can be quite interesting. So much so that I (who already have a son who is almost past the age of “school age”) decided to write a post about it. Let's see how well developed our optimizers' sense of humor is and what they could and can boast about now. Curious? Otherwise...

How did Yandex become a honey and why is Google better?

Actually, you can find the answer “how to do this” by going to the site, which will first in Yandex and Google results for the query “Yandex, you’re a sweetheart”.

There, the “enterprising comrade” explains that he created a page with a title that will be the answer to this question. But in order for this page to be displayed in Yandex results for the specified request, he used it several times in the text and even highlighted it in bold.

Because There wasn’t much competition for it at that time, so the article remarkably jumped to the Top and even eventually took first place. We give a standing ovation, because now this phrase is requested about sixty thousand times in Yandex and the “joker” site receives decent traffic.

There are also variations of this request, such as the one given in the title “Yandex you are a honey, but Google is better”, “Yandex you are a deer”, “Yandex you love me”, etc. Now you know the secret and, if you wish and have sufficient creativity and knowledge in SEO, you can repeat all this or even surpass it. For me, simply stating a fact is enough.

This was an example when a joke gave a very good return in the form of additional traffic to the site and in the form of satisfying the ambitions of the author who invented and implemented it. But often more successful (in my opinion) jokes and gags, which were introduced into the search results of Yandex or Google using SEO methods, brought their authors nothing but moral satisfaction. It is precisely to such enthusiasts, it seems to me, that one should take off one’s hat.

Wow Yandex jokes

Next, I want to give a number of examples that are still “living”, and most often have already died in God. search jokes of Yandex and Google, which were implemented out of nothing more than a naked desire to laugh and give other network users a hearty laugh. Agree, when the search engine itself makes jokes, it’s much funnier (and more natural) than demotivators, etc. Smesharikov.

1. This joke clearly shows the attitude of the “celestials from the world of SEO” towards those who are hooked on:

   

2. True, now the previous request no longer gives Contact in the first place, but there is also a request that still works great in Yandex:
   
   
3. Here is also an unexpectedly persistent answer to the seemingly difficult question “worst search engine”:

   

   I can’t imagine how such a result can be achieved, unless this is really the opinion of the Yandex search engine about a former competitor (who died two years ago).

4. Jokes are found not only in the search results, but sometimes also in the advertising blocks that are shown there:
   
   
5. Again, a lot of jokes are promoted (it’s hard to imagine that at least a couple of people entered the query “what to do if Voldemort washes himself with my shampoo”) and in the search suggestions of Yandex and Google:

   

   
   
6. There are a couple of frequently entered queries on the topic of toilets: “what will happen if you throw a crowbar into a train toilet at full speed” and “What should I do if my toilet is dancing.” Apparently someone promoted them, but the essence of this idea is now somewhat vague Although the originality of the questions alone can give you an A.

Google jokes

1. I, of course, perfectly understand the guys who, living overseas and not being able to type in the Russian keyboard, therefore write their messages on Russian-language forums, social networks and blogs in transliteration. What do you think about it? Personally, I constantly “stumble” over this, and when such a “wonderful” hint was given on Google for this, I simply couldn’t hold back my laughter:

   

   Apparently it was someone from the Google Russian search team who joked, but then everything was fixed.

2. Google is somewhat pessimistic about the mental development of the vast majority of our planet:
   
   
3. Previously, when searching for “delusion generator,” Google returned the site of its direct competitor (Yandex) in second place.

   

A search algorithm is a set of lines of code that have been written to most effectively solve the problem of providing the user with relevant results. This means that no “humanity” can be expected from algorithms, but, as you know, there are exceptions to any rule.

At some point in time, the RuNet was filled with various pages with collections of “search humor.” The most absurd and funny queries made users bewildered and laugh at the same time, but there are a number of keys, after starting a search for which, the search engine begins to behave completely atypical for itself.

A very, very old curiosity in the field of search queries to the Google system - Google is a fool. The user tried to insult the search engine, but the robot doesn’t reach into its pocket for words and immediately responds to the user with the first line of the search results: “Google is not a fool, it won’t recommend shit.” Of course, there is an explanation for this, which is much simpler than it might seem: the phrase is taken from a page about this curiosity on some resource.


For some period of time, the search engine returned this phrase first, letting the user know that you are not addressing a soulless set of commands, but an artificial intelligence with good self-esteem. Ranking algorithms do not stand still, and the site that came out on top for the query “Google is stupid” was constantly changing in order to get a share of the glory.

Today it is not known for certain who was the first to offer such an answer to the search, but it is obvious that the machine liked it. Experts in the field of search engine promotion agree that this is by no means a machine response, but the result of the intervention of the human factor in ranking, because sometimes the first place for this request was completely meaningless pages with low-quality content.

Google would not be so popular if it were a mindless and dry search engine. Developers have stated this more than once at numerous conferences, and the answer to the query “Google is a fool” is direct proof of this.

Another example of a funny search engine reaction. The fact is that if you start a search for the query “Google you’re a honey,” the robot will answer you very unequivocally: “I’m not your honey, you stupid brute.”


As in the case of the humorous response described above, this is also probably not the work of the search algorithm, but of an error or human intervention in the operation of the algorithms, since the sites in the top 1 for this query change, but the literal search answer for this query does not change .

Hi all!

Until yesterday, I couldn’t even suspect the existence of such a topic as jokes with Yandex and Google. It turns out that search engines also like to joke!

It is in this article that I want to reveal to you 10 secret jokes from Google that everyone can try. No, you don’t need any investment here, everything is absolutely free.

You will be able to please yourself and your friends, experience the main jokes with Yandex and Google to the fullest!

Well, shall we get started? It's time to have some fun, otherwise it's all work and work!

10 secret jokes from Google, jokes with Yandex and Google.

Google jokes!

• First joke:

When watching any video on YouTube, stop it and quickly, alternately press: right, up. Enjoy the game of snake! To be honest, this joke didn’t work out for me! And you?

• Google-gravity:

We are creating a real mess on the pages of the Google search engine... To do this, follow the link: http://www.mrdoob.com/projects/chromeexperiments/google-gravity/.

You can drag everything, throw it and cause complete chaos, and the search engine can be safely used for its intended purpose (to search)!

• Third secret:

Chinese Google for image search: http://www.google.com.hk/intl/zh-CN/landing/shuixia/

At first glance, this is an ordinary search engine, but the seabed, fish, water are a little confusing...

But as soon as we enter a search query, pictures immediately start pouring in and chaos begins again (we move objects, make waves, etc.)!

And if you click on the familiar button on the Russian Internet “I’ll be lucky!” (only here everything is in Chinese), then you will be showered with gold and various treasures (press the button many times, otherwise one click will bring only one coin)!

• Fourth secret:

We enter the following phrases one by one into the search engine and look at the result:

do a barrel roll

do a barrel roll

zerg rush

zerg rush

tilt

tilt

I won’t tell you the details, you’ll see for yourself!

• Atari breakout:

Breakout is an arcade game similar to Pong, created by Atari in 1976. A continuation followed in 1978 - Super Breakout. The most famous clone of the game is Arkanoid.

The upper third of the game screen is occupied by rows of bars. The ball moves across the screen, bouncing off the top and side borders of the screen. When the ball hits the block, it bounces and the block disappears. The player loses one life when the ball hits the bottom of the screen; to prevent this, the player has a movable paddle that can be used to bounce the ball back to the top of the screen.

Go to Google Images and enter this:

atari breakout

atari breakout

• Piano on YouTube:

Turn on the video ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlcfB9ZPmJw) and play with the top numbers on the keyboard. Then you stop and remember the first point!

• Doodles:

Probably everyone knows what doodles are... Okay, I’ll tell you about this strange word:

Doodles are unusual holiday versions of the Google home page logo. They appear in honor of holidays, anniversaries of great events or anniversaries of famous artists, discoverers and scientists who changed the course of history.

You can read more about the history of their origin here (very interesting and informative).

In this way, the Google team shows its respect for certain events, and also tries to diversify its main page, adding a twist, so to speak!

It is especially worth paying attention to this doodle:

In honor of Les Paul's birthday, a guitar was created in 2011:

Here's how to play for your health: http://www.google.com/logos/2011/lespaul.html.

It's better to play with numbers, but you can move the mouse too!

Is it possible to see every doodle ever created?

Yes! Doodles for all countries created since 1998 are collected at www.google.com/doodles. This collection is constantly growing, so be sure to check back often!

• Pac-Man:

Does everyone remember the game Pac-Man?

If you want to play, go to: https://www.google.com/doodles/30th-anniversary-of-pac-man.

• Rubik's Cube:

Let's do without further ado: https://www.google.com/logos/2014/rubiks/rubiks.html.

• Automatic Google:

If you are fed up with requests to find something in the search because “they can’t do it themselves,” then you can always use the website kak-iskat.ru. And the anger will pass and you can laugh!

• Small jokes with the translator:

In Google Translate (https://translate.google.com/) enter: “Good morning, Dmitry Anatolyevich or Good morning, Vladimir Vladimirovich.” Now everything works correctly, before it was like this:

• This is interesting:

The search has a unit converter function (in Yandex too). For example: if you enter “dollar to euro”, then the exchange rate will come first. You can even ask him “how many parrots are in a boa constrictor” and he will answer you (better use Google)!

It turns out Google is not the only joker! Yandex is also a fan of joking and making fun of its users!

So, jokes from Yandex!

• Yandex weather:

Go to the website (http://pogoda.yandex.ua/), we find something like a slot machine, the so-called “lucky weather”... Found it?

So, click on the handle 20 times! So what's the result? Damn jokers! 😀

• Yandex-gravity:

Let me present to your attention Yandex gravity: http://f7soft.ru/_gravity/index.htm.

There are also many jokes with Yandex and Google for various search queries, but this is not so interesting!

For example, type the most popular query “Google you honey” and pay attention to the first positions!

What tricks do you know about search engines? Be sure to unsubscribe in the comments and I will update this post, it will benefit everyone!

By the way, soon I will reveal cool secrets: how to increase blog traffic, where to get unique articles without investment, where you can earn extra money on the Internet, etc.! So subscribe and stay updated on all new events!

So, I told you 10 secret jokes from Google (or even more), told you about Yandex jokes... I hope this information was useful and you took a little break from your work!

But I also found a cool video about how programmers joke, I couldn’t resist adding, watch:

Google's biggest secret revealed

Recently there was news about the so-called<<загадочной барже>> in San Francisco, before that its purpose was hidden.

The fact is that the Google campaign is building a barge in the San Francisco Bay, but its purpose was carefully hidden. There were different options on this topic: a secret military base or floating data centers.

You can discard all options regarding the alien invasion, everything turned out to be much simpler! Google will use this barge to present its new products.

That's all for today! See you!

Sincerely, Vladislav Lemishko.

It’s strange, but I thought that everyone had forgotten about this stupid and useless request a long time ago. Three years have passed since I wrote an article for this request, and it is still in the TOP3 for the request “Yandex you honey.” These search engines are strange, but as they say, if there is a search query, then there must be a search answer.

Not much of a backstory about how it came to my mind to push Yandex’s sweetie onto the Internet. I in no way claim that it was I who came up with this stupid request, but it is my merit in promoting it to the masses.

And it was like this. I came across this request purely by chance, and an idea came to my mind - why not write an article about it and bring it to the TOP. By the way, there was no competition at all at that time. I wrote a rather primitive article, spammed it with the key “Yandex, you honey,” and that’s it, after a while the first site in Yandex was mine!

Well, then the SEO people woke up and decided to push me a little, which I actually didn’t resist. Traffic for the Yandex request you honey was useless, the main contingent was schoolboys who only wanted swear words and boobs.

And now to the heart of the matter, I looked into Yanedex Wordstat and gasped! It turns out that in addition to the main request about Yandex, there is a lot of interesting junk that is also being searched for. And so, I don’t have enough patience for all the requests, I’ll voice 5 pieces. Here we go!

– request frequency - 38,765

To be honest, I was blown away! That these people have nothing better to do? But as they say about tastes, you can’t argue, although you should. I, personally, am interested in another “query”: what people want to know when they type a query into the search bar.

"Yandex Google honey"– request frequency - 6,607

I’m even more crazy, what if you try Yandex Mail Google Bingo Sweetheart? Is there any logic to this request? Or is it better to find out immediately whether Yandex and Google are sweethearts. There is no point in arguing, although maybe it would be better to ask separately - are you Google honey?

“Yandex is sweet but Google is better”– request frequency - 5,535

Until some time I agreed with this formulation, but lately both search engines have made me especially sad.

New algorithms, new ranking methods and other nonsense.

“Yandex honey, I love you”– request frequency - 2,129

Not a bad result, in my opinion, but what does love have to do with it? I had a wild desire to look at the person who asks such a search query. If anyone knows such people, I would like to ask you a huge request, please let me know.

“Yandex, sorry honey”- total request frequency – 172

There are very few people who want to apologize to Yandez. But, as always, I am concerned about a completely different question: why do people ask Yandex for forgiveness? Although it’s just a matter of chance that they may have once offended the search engine, but how can you offend Yandex?

There are still a dozen and a half variations of this request left, they are less interesting and with less frequency. If you're interested, you can see for yourself. Perhaps you will select a request for your site, but in principle there is not much competition, but such a request is of no use. And perhaps you will find a use for such traffic.